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April 1 , 2012
A-N-C-O-R-A
“A-N-C-O-R-A, for the Pope we will pray! Supporting the Church in every way!” The already crowded room now looked and sounded like a stampede of elephants. The conference room of Immaculate Conception Academy was way too small to hold the 160 girls from Overbrook Academy. Afraid that the floor would cave in, I walked to the back of the room and stood by the door to contemplate the scene: 170 girls trying to keep up with the Precandidates on stage who were teaching them a cheer that has so many movements it is more like a dance. The Overbrook girls had just finished a “Who wants to be a Millionaire?” game in which they learned all about the Precandidates, girls their age who are attending high school at Immaculate Conception Academy while they discern whether their vocation is to consecrate their life to God or not.
On this day, they were having fun learning how to support and give thanks for vocations with their prayers through Ancora. Each received a card with the name of a priest, religious or consecrated that they will pray for.
Visiting Immaculate Conception Academy was just one of the many activities that the Overbrook girls had during Catholic Schools Week. Although it was the one that a lot of them enjoyed the most, they had the experience of getting to know other vocations as well. On Monday, the girls got to greet the “Pope” with the cheers they made up before going to Rome to see the real Pope. The girls greeted the dean who was dressed as the Pope with the same enthusiasm as they did with the real Pope. Then, they had a flashback to the audiences they had with the Pope when the video of him greeting the Oak academies when they were there. Pope-tarts, Pope-sicles and Pope-corn were their favorite snacks and desserts that day.
“I’ve never had such a beautiful Mass. I didn’t even know it was possible to have a Mass celebrated by four priests!” Priest appreciation day brought four priests to a special Mass and dinner that they enjoyed in the company of the girls. Their gratitude showed in their cheers and their words to them. The highlight was definitely having a Spanish priest go to each one of the tables and speak Spanish to the Latin American girls who are supposed to speak English all the time. Some of them even got part of his special dessert! Each girl also adopted a priest or seminarian of the Providence diocese to pray and sacrifice for this Lent.
The girls had never seen a consecrated woman playing sports in a skirt before; imagine the surprise of playing against women in skirts – and losing. Even the directress of the school, Ms Valerie McGovern, had to come in to play on the girls’ side to help them make more baskets! Consecrated life appreciation day was the perfect excuse for the girls to show their love and gratitude to their instructors and the other consecrated at the school and in formation. They got to know them in a different setting and were able to feel closer to them.
Marriage life day brought the movie “El Estudiante” which the girls loved. They reflected on the true value of marriage and the way to build a good relationship that will eventually develop into a beautiful and united marriage. Many of them said that they realized that their actions, attitudes and habits today have a consequence on how their future develops.
Throughout the week, there were different fun fundraisers, so at the end we sent a check to Bishop Tobin for the needs of the seminary and the diocese. Not only did they help the diocese by having fun, but they also learned to appreciate how much these men and women do for them. They now see the need for prayer, sacrifice, and support for vocations. The cheer of the Precandidates has truly become theirs: “A-N-C-O-R-A, for the Pope we will pray! Supporting the Church in every way!”
February 23, 2012
Good Girl, Bad Girl
Recently, a new Korean girl arrived at Overbrook, a boarding school for English-as-a-second-language students. 95 percent of the students come from Spanish-speaking countries, so I was not surprised when I told the Korean girl to hurry up so she could be on time for school and she answered “Me not mala niña.” The rest of the girls burst out laughing. I could not believe she was picking up Spanish so fast, when she barely understood English. However, I had the words “bad girl” stuck in my mind for a few days. That is when I realized how important it is to help girls build a healthy self-esteem based on who they are and not on what they do.
I will never forget the guilty faces of two of my girls after they were caught making quesadillas with the iron. They had had tortillas with their dinner, and they managed to smuggle some out of the dining room along with a few slices of cheese. They waited until everyone was asleep to start their long-awaited project. Unfortunately, their deans had not gone to bed yet, and they were caught. As they narrated the whole story to me trying to hold back their tears, I started laughing. “Girls, you already had a detention for it, and I know you are not bad girls just because you are mischievous.” I could see the relief in their faces as they promised never to do it again. They had been so worried that they had let me down.
The next day, I huddled all my girls into a circle in the hallway right before they went to bed to talk to them. I told them the same thing I told these two girls: “Following the rules of Overbrook is important because they help you achieve the goals you set for yourself when you arrived. Most of you came because you wanted to learn English, so of course we want to help you practice it. You also have the opportunity to form habits of order, punctuality and social norms. Nevertheless, that does not mean that if you do not do some of these things occasionally you are bad girls. It is totally normal, but little by little you will grow in these habits and you will not forget to do things right that much.” I also shared some of the jokes and funny things I had done when I was their age. The next time I had to ask who had stayed up late and played a joke on a girl, there was no hesitation. Three hands shot into the air. They apologized and accepted their consequence peacefully. I asked myself what had changed their attitude, and I realized it was the fact that they knew I loved them unconditionally for who they were, and not for what they did.
“You are precious in my eyes and I love you.” So many problems would be solved if we really believed that God loves us for who we are. There is a video by Rob Bell called “Lump” in which his little son steals a little white ball and is so ashamed that he hides under the bedcovers for hours crying inconsolably. It is not until Rob finally manages to take him out from his hiding place and just says “there is nothing you can do that will ever make me love you less” over and over again, that he finally calms down. In the same way, God looks at us as the children we are and feels sorry for our misery. He doesn´t judge us as we do, because He knows that we are weak. This love of our Father should help us, and especially teenage girls, to build a healthy self-esteem that will allow us to grow to be the woman or man He dreams of.
To help girls grow and demand from them without making them feel guilty is challenging, but if we show them our unconditional love and mercy, they can grow to become confident women. Every time I correct a girl, I try to praise her for something else later in the day, and to make sure she knows I’ve noticed her effort after I corrected her. No girl will ever grow out of a “bad girl” label that we have stuck to her forehead if we don’t give her the chance to grow. The best service we can do to girls is to teach them to see themselves through the loving eyes of God the Father.
November 16 , 2011
Consecrated and Mother?
“Are you for real? Are you really giving up the possibility of ever having children?” These words right before I consecrated my life to God were a constant reopening of the wound I thought God had inflicted necessarily in my heart.
“It is part of my vocation, and I am certain that I will be happy by following it”, was all I could manage to say back then. Now that I think about it, those tears and struggles were such a waste of time. Only three years later, working at a girls’ boarding school, I find myself dealing with 21 teenagers 24/7.
“Look at the letter my little brother wrote me! And the pictures and candy they sent me!”
“Can I please talk to you? It is urgent! I don’t know what to do about.”
“The nurse said to keep taking these pills every night. Could you remind me, please?”
“You have to hear Leslie’s new joke, it is so funny!"
“I fell off the horse in my horseback riding clinic! I was so scared because it almost stepped on me but the teacher pulled me away just in time! Do I have to keep going? I think the horse doesn’t like me!”
“How do you spell friendship?”
“Look at the picture I made for you in art class!”
“Do I look okay in this?”
“Will it be windy tomorrow? I really want to wear my new dress!”
As I walk down the hallway of my 6th and 7th graders’ rooms doing my daily rounds of “section supervision”, I am bombarded with questions, comments and requests immediately. I scan over my girls’ faces and try to decide whom to answer to first. Should I console the crying homesick girl, laugh at the goofball’s new joke, give some “urgent” advice on teenagers’ fluctuating friendships or encourage the fearful girl who was almost killed by a horse? Most of the time I decide to smile and take it easy.
“Girls, I want to know everything about your day! Ana, let me look at that cut on your knee. Did you wash it with water and soap? Come on, let’s do it. I do not want it to be infected. Sofi, thank you for the picture, it is beautiful! Did you do it on your own? Andrea, put the pills in the cabinet in the laundry room so that we do not forget about them. Ana, I promise I’ll check the weather channel for you tonight, okay?”
 The words that come out of my mouth sound ironically similar to what my mom would say when my brothers and I were growing up. Occasionally I step into an intense argument and have the girls apologize to each other as my mother had to do when I fought with my brother. Mom knew that if she did not hear my little brother playing, it usually meant he was burning something in a shower. Likewise, on days in which the hallway seems too quiet, I look for the loud girls because it usually means that they are getting into trouble. Most of all, mom knew how to read between the lines and know what I needed just by looking at me. As the year goes by, I am learning that each girl has her own language to communicate her needs. Some girls frown, others try hard to act cool, still others have a distant and distracted look when something is wrong. I have also realized that some girls really need to talk about it, others need time, but all of them need to know they are loved.
Being a mother is natural to every woman, whatever her vocation is. Whether I am praying for spending quality time with my girls, the heart of a mother is always worried for her kids. It takes more than a headache, tiredness or a bad day to stop a mother. She always looks after her children and their cares are what occupies her mind and heart. Who said you could not be consecrated and a mother?
 “I’d rather save souls.”
Stephanie’s answer was unexpected even for her. She had dreamt of becoming a doctor like her father. Now, looking into his eyes, she realized how much she meant these words.
“The more and more I kicked myself for and mulled over this answer the more and more I knew it was true. One sharp contrast kept hitting me you can save a life for a while but everyone dies eventually, but a soul lives or dies forever.”
This dream goes back to when her dad started taking her with him to the ER when she was little.
“I just loved being there with him, but when I got older I started realizing how amazing and beautiful my dad’s work really was, how he was really touching people’s lives.” She remembers getting a huge basket of fruit one Christmas from one of her father’s patients who he had seen for free. She looked up to him and was amazed at “how you could change a person’s life so radically with just the right knowledge, generosity, and patience”.
However, after giving a summer and later on a year to do some missionary work in Regnum Christi, she changed her mind about becoming a doctor.
“I guess it was just a new way of looking at the world. I was able to learn and experience the value of a soul.” It was during her year as a missionary in Calgary that she surprised her dad and herself when she told him that she would rather save souls.
Sometimes she gets this itch to want to help a sick person -- and she satisfies it by caring for consecrated sisters. She cares for others, but in a different way than her father.
“The more and more I live this life, the more and more I realize that the best way to help others is through prayer and sacrifice; to really place them before Christ and beg for his graces for them.” She says it is not so different from medicine, because “mostly the work of saving souls is hidden and demands patience and sacrifice. In the end, we cannot change hearts only Christ can. It’s a gift when we can see the transformation in a soul or be part of it as God’s instrument.”
When she talks about her plans for the future, she simply says that they “are to grow in holiness day by day and to love Christ more deeply. I am open to wherever or whatever God has planned for me, I know it will be the best… He is pretty reliable.”
She is really looking forward to working with souls one-on-one and helping them encounter Christ when she finishes her studies at Mater Ecclesiae College. Like any good medicine school, her studies have been preparing her for the mission of becoming God’s instrument in the healing process of so many souls.
“Through the spiritual, human and intellectual formation I’ve learned a lot about myself, others and God. These are the essentials for the mission: knowing the part that we each play, who God is and wants to be for us, how much he loves us, how we are made for him… But most of all, learning to live with God and listen to him and others.”
Stephanie Pangtay is a consecrated woman in Regnum Christi since 2008. She is finishing her studies at Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island. At the end of this year, she will receive her assignment to start her mission.
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